What happens when your kids make decisions you don’t agree with?

Posted: September 2, 2012 by Keith Townsend in Lessons from dad

One of the things I loved about my relationship with my dad is that I could come with him with any kind of crazy thoughts and ideas on decisions I had to make in life.  He never really judged me or tried to change my mind.  He just armed me with information and let me make my own decision.   He would also advise me to never let my decision be someone else’s thoughts but my own decision.  At the end of the day I wouldn’t look back and say, “Why didn’t I just follow my own thoughts?”

Recently, my oldest son came to me to discuss leaving school.  I take education extremely seriously and he knows this but I also want him to feel as if I’ll support him in any decision that he makes.  I find it difficult to do as my dad did for me.  He’s my son and it’s my opinion that it’s the best time in life for him to go to school.  In the back of my mind I remember the crazy things I’d tell my dad and now I wonder what he really thought or wanted to say.

My wife came to me after the conversation and said it was my entire fault.  All she heard was my words in his voice.  I had to laugh.  I thought the complete opposite.  She said he spoke of being a leader and making decisions based on what he felt was right.  He doesn’t want to do something just because it’s going to make us happy or it’s the popular thing to do.  Where does the kid get this crap from :). Just do what I want and not what I say, fine time to listen to me now kid.

I have to just face it.  My son is a grown man that I’ve trained well.  Thanks a lot dad.  Somehow I feel you are looking down on us with that stupid knowing smirk I’ve seen so many times.  It seems growing up never stops.

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